What She Said

You know that Sharada is a real crook, I almost died because of her, I was sick and I called my own doctor, but he said "I have someone with me, I'll call you in an hour," so someone was saying to me, "Why don't you call Sharada, she's such a good doctor," so I called her and she gave me some drugs, and afterward my housemaid said, "Couldn't she have examined you just a little, she just gave you all those medicines and you took them," and then I was half conscious and Sharada asked me what day it was, it was Saturday, and I heard myself saying it wrong, I said it was Friday, and she said, "Where is the Pope," and I said "I don't know where the Pope is," so she told everyone, "She's going to have a stroke." You shouldn't tell people that, it's very private. And finally she said it was food poisoning, but I had eaten some food which a colleague had given me on Monday, and on Saturday I fell ill, so how could it have been food poisoning? It was the drugs she gave me, and I almost died because of her. Although she was very nice when her husband was alive, I must say, but afterwards, you know, she came one day in a silvery sari, all shining, and one of the Americans was there and he said, "Who is this Christmas tree coming along here," you know, I think people should dress more soberly after their husbands have died, all right, if she wants to wear a big pottu, it's part of our tradition, it's okay, but you should have seen her at the meeting, she was dressed as if she were going to a wedding, so much gold, and everybody was saying, "She's wearing two inches of makeup." That's what they said, "She's wearing two inches of makeup."